If memories make us what we are, then our essence is just as fragile and unreliable as our memory. “Before I Forget” poses the question of what happens to us when memories start to fade, and to our close ones while we perish before their eyes. Do they only care about us as long as they need us? The excellent choice of topic is timeless—but it also resonates with current events, namely the “horror nursing homes”¹ cases we recently saw in the news. The way we treat the elderly and the sick, and whether we perceive them as a burden, is a question Bulgarian society is used to avoiding but movies have the power to direct our gaze towards what we do not dare to look at.

“Before I Forget” tells the story of Iliyana (played by Alexandra Dimitrova), a typical Bulgarian mother exhausted by working long shifts at a call centre. When she’s not working, she has to raise her adolescent son with little to no support from her emotionally detached husband. Lately, the family faces a great challenge—Iliyana’s father, Stoyan (played by Ivan Savov), needs more and more attention each day due to his rapidly deteriorating dementia. In the search for a glimpse of hope, Iliyana decides to take her father and son on a spontaneous trip, but not before abruptly asking her husband for a divorce.

Albeit a bit schematic, the beginning of the story sets up a clear enough basis for the drama that’ll be unfolding. The cast provides sporadic moments of playfulness to lighten up the mood. Even with its humour on hand, however, “Before I Forget” is not an easy movie to watch. It is often heartwarming but—unfortunately—also a bit factitious. Unlike the 2020 movie “The Father” (dir. Florian Zeller, starring Antony Hopkins), the father here isn’t portrayed through his disease, nor do the characters experience the ominous feel of multilayered family dynamics. There’s also the fact that Ivan Savov already played a problematic aging parent in “The Father” (2019) directed by Petar Valchanov and Kristina Grozeva, where the script equipped his character with more nuance. Here, Savov is much more restricted in his role and distanced from the audience, who can only wonder (just like the character’s close family) what’s left of his memory and how he perceives the world around him.

“Before I Forget” is told from the daughter’s point of view, which is both a merit and a flaw. Iliyana has to bend over backwards to ensure her father spends his last years with dignity. She also needs to keep the family together while people around her seem to have lost all empathy and refuse to go out of their way to help others. Iliyana takes on the ungrateful role of the peacemaker and elicits the viewer’s sympathy with her lonely efforts. But even though it’s touching and worthy of respect, her role is also formulaic. From the very beginning, the relationship with her husband feels artificially strained. They seem to escalate from a trivial fight to divorce. The husband is an annoyingly anaemic character, and the scenes featuring him fall into some of the usual traps of Bulgarian cinema (see the stiff dialogue set in the sterile domestic ambiance). Once she escapes her partner’s unreliability, Iliyana runs into the cruelty of her father’s sister (played by Maria Statulova). Her aunt embodies the worst of family relations. During the trip, Iliyana has to deal with her father’s progressively declining health but also with her son who’s lost in his own world. (If the teen were more aware of his surroundings, he’d transform into a well-rounded character. However, buried in his smartphone, he rarely steps out of the cliché and he can’t seem to find his place in the story.) Despite all this, gradually, “Before I Forget” turns to a direction which makes more sense.

Good-natured cousin Desi introduces a pleasant contrast, immediately grabbing our attention. This is one of Raya Peeva’s best performances. Her character adds a much-needed freshness and kindness to the second half of the movie. With her acting presence, Peeva manages to elevate the level of the rest of the cast. Prior to her arrival, a big portion of the narrative weight falls on Alexandra Dimitrova whose big-screen debut convincingly portrays the emotional complexity of her character.

The script, written by director Stanislav Donchev and his wife, Teodora Stoilova-Doncheva, is based on a personal story. In the strongest moments of “Before I Forget,” the script captures the whirlwind of emotions we feel when we communicate with our family. What’s most cumbersome to observe is the communal helplessness. 

Defeated by Stoyan’s illness, his family finds short-lived solace in single moments, much like he finds fleeting clarity while listening to his favourite folk music. 

“Before I Forget” tries to lighten the final scenes by going for a Hollywood-style happy ending, which brings a stark contrast to the plot’s overall tone. This way, we’re left with the impression the ending lacks the authenticity and insight needed to fulfil its potential. Still, this doesn’t depreciate its meaning or the viewing experience. The movie we’re discussing didn’t simply come at the right time; it’s a universal story with multilayered meaning.

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1. In the summer of 2025, a series of news reports exposed illegal nursing homes for the elderly in the Bulgarian villages of Yagoda and Govedartsi. The living conditions were horrifying. An independent verification confirmed the actual number of similar illegal institutions is higher, but the state has failed to respond accordingly, despite having received numerous signals.

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